I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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