so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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