It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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