If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
