There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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