Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
