Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You pole danced in your parka.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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