Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
