If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
