I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
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