oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
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My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
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Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
God, I missed his penis.
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