I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
