It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize