just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I am not eating basil off your cock
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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