five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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