I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
We left an ass print on the piano.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
