come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
