He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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