dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
are you so shy because you have an std?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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