why didn't you poke me back
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize