I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize