their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
