why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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