Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
