So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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