Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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