so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
