omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize