Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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