Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
