you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
