I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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