I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize