I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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