my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
