Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
