dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
