Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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