As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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