I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
