i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
