where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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