girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
being pregnant is like rehab
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
