Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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