He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
either way he was missing a nipple.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
