i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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