I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
