i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
