i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
