Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
