we have pet lesbian snakes
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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