i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
