Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
