i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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