ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Don't make out with my wife yet
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
