i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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