Don't make out with my wife yet
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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