I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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