I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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