I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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